What is it like to cheer for a sports team that sucks

It’s great! But get ready to use your down-arrow, cuz to understand, you have to scroll wayyy to the end of this list. So, go ahead and do that, and I’ll meet you at the bottom. See ya in a bit!

1. Atlanta Braves
2. Miami Marlins
3. New York Mets
4. Philadelphia Phillies
5. Washington Nationals
6. Chicago Cubs
7. Cincinnati Reds
8. Milwaukee Brewers
9. Pittsburgh Pirates
10. St. Louis Cardinals
11. Arizona Diamondbacks
12. Colorado Rockies
13. Los Angeles Dodgers
14. San Diego Padres
15. San Francisco Giants
16. Baltimore Orioles
17. Boston Red Sox
18. New York Yankees
19. Tampa Bay Rays
20. Toronto Blue Jays
21. Chicago White Sox
22. Cleveland Indians
23. Detroit Tigers
24. Kansas City Royals
25. Minnesota Twins
26. Houston Astros
27. Los Angeles Angels
28. Oakland Athletics
29. Seattle Mariners
30. Texas Rangers
31. Anaheim Ducks
32. Arizona Coyotes
33. Boston Bruins
34. Buffalo Sabres
35. Calgary Flames
36. Carolina Hurricanes
37. Chicago Blackhawks
38. Colorado Avalanche
39. Columbus Blue Jackets
40. Dallas Stars
41. Detroit Red Wings
42. Edmonton Oilers
43. Florida Panthers
44. Los Angeles Kings
45. Minnesota Wild
46. Montreal Canadiens
47. Nashville Predators
48. New Jersey Devils
49. New York Islanders
50. New York Rangers
51. Ottawa Senators
52. Philadelphia Flyers
53. Pittsburgh Penguins
54. San Jose Sharks
55. St Louis Blues
56. Tampa Bay Lightning
57. Toronto Maple Leafs
58. Vancouver Canucks
59. Vegas Golden Knights
60. Washington Capitals
61. Winnipeg Jets
62. Atlanta Hawks
63. Boston Celtics
64. Brooklyn Nets
65. Charlotte Hornets
66. Chicago Bulls
67. Cleveland Cavaliers
68. Dallas Mavericks
69. Denver Nuggets
70. Detroit Pistons
71. Golden State Warriors
72. Houston Rockets
73. Indiana Pacers
74. LA Clippers
75. Los Angeles Lakers
76. Memphis Grizzlies
77. Miami Heat
78. Milwaukee Bucks
79. Minnesota Timberwolves
80. New Orleans Pelicans
81. New York Knicks
82. Oklahoma City Thunder
83. Orlando Magic
84. Philadelphia 76ers
85. Phoenix Suns
86. Portland Trail Blazers
87. Sacramento Kings
88. San Antonio Spurs
89. Toronto Raptors
90. Utah Jazz
91. Washington Wizards
92. Arizona Cardinals
93. Atlanta Falcons
94. Baltimore Ravens
95. Carolina Panthers
96. Chicago Bears
97. Cincinnati Bengals
98. Cleveland Browns
99. Dallas Cowboys
100. Denver Broncos
101. Detroit Lions
102. Green Bay Packers
103. Houston Texans
104. Indianapolis Colts
105. Jacksonville Jaguars
106. Kansas City Chiefs
107. Los Angeles Rams
108. Los Angeles Chargers
109. Miami Dolphins
110. Minnesota Vikings
111. New England Patriots
112. New Orleans Saints
113. New York Giants
114. New York Jets
115. Oakland Raiders
116. Philadelphia Eagles
117. Pittsburgh Steelers
118. San Francisco 49ers
119. Seattle Seahawks
120. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
121. Tennessee Titans
122. Washington Redskins
123. Buffalo Bills

In no particular order, those are all the professional teams in all four of America’s major sports; baseball, hockey, basketball, and football. I say “in no particular order”… except for the last one on the list. #123.

The Buffalo Bills. They are last on my list for a reason.

Ah… my good old, lovable, Bumbling Bills. They are a football team, in the National Football League (NFL), from my home town of Buffalo, NY. Our claim to fame is… well, we have several claims to fame… the first one is that, even though the NFL has the New York Giants, and the New York Jets teams… both supposedly from New York City and both supposedly from New York State… both of them actually play in a stadium in the State of New Jersey. Not New York. So, we Buffalonians like to stick out our chest and proudly proclaim that “We are New York State’s ONLY football team!”

It get’s under the skin of Jets and Giants fans. They pretend that they don’t care. But that’s okay. We know they do. And we’ll take what we can get.

Our second claim to fame is… wait for ittttttttt… WINGS! BUFFALO WINGS! BUFFALO CHICKEN WINGS! We invented these famous delicious morsels that swept the nation, and go with football, like no other food alive… well, except for beer. But Beer & Wings are like brother and sister. Incestuous brother & sister. Yes, our “tail-gating” parties are universe-famous, outside of our freezing sub-zero, windswept stadium. Lots of beer and wings. And… if you haven’t heard… we INVENTED them!

Our third claim to fame is… sighhhh… it’s a bittersweet fact… but we are the only team that ever went to FOUR SUPER BOWLS IN A ROW!!!! Okay… OKAY!… I KNOW! … we lost all 4. But we don’t dwell on that part. We still won FOUR AFC TITLES IN A ROW, which allowed us to go to 4 super bowls in a row, and that is something that has never been done in history. We ignore the jealous fools who continue to say that BILLS stands for “Boy I Love Losing Superbowls”. Yeah, it gets old. Ha ha. Very funny. Yes, I get it. Whatevers.

And finally…. our last claim to fame. The above list of all of America’s Pro Teams. 123 of them. Buffalo was the only one of those 123 teams that has not been in the play-offs in this CENTURY…. IN THIS MILLENIUM!! Never mind the championship game… I’m just talking about getting into the first round of the playoffs. None. Nada, for 17 years. Our Superbowls were back in the early 1990’s. Since then, we have drifted between mediocrity & suck. An entire generation has been born, grew up and prepared for university, without ever knowing what it was like to have a good home team in football. We’re in 123rd place.

But you know what? WE LOVE OUR BILLS!!! Our city is miserably cold. Has no jobs. Is mostly abandoned in huge areas of what was once a thriving city. We watched our Bills in bars and living rooms for 17 years, consistently sucking. Consistently disappointing. We love our beer. We love our wings. And we love our Bills no matter how much heart break they bring us all year after year. Being the worst for achieving playoffs of all 4 national sports was humbling.

I’ve moved all over the country and the world for the past 35+ years, and there have been people from Buffalo wherever I go. And I can count on one hand, the number of times any of them said they give up on the Buffalo Bills. We embraced our suckiness. From one end of the country to the other… even in Europe… people born in Buffalo cheer on our suck team. We always start each year with “This is the year!! Lets Go Buffalo!!” We always end each year with “Next year is the year!! Lets Go Buffalo!!”.

No fair-weather fans. None of us jump off the band wagon in horrible years and jump on again in slightly less suckier years. Nope, our bandwagon is constantly full of hopeful, half-drunk fans, with nothing but love for our team. They are really all we’ve got. We have a hockey team… but not as popular. We had a basketball team.. but the Buffalo Braves ran away from Buffalo in the 70’s and became the Los Angeles Clippers.

I’ve been to other cities where everyone hates their team when they do poorly. I’ve seen it plenty! Stadiums get empty. But Buffalo always is sold out in the stadium, in the worst weather possible. Look at this picture… can you believe this sh*t?!

We are the best fans with the worst team…. and it’s still awesome. My home town is a great town, like no other town. We love our horrible team not because of their record, but because we love the game and we love the hope.

We have seen that we CAN make it to the championship game.

And we will. Again. Eventually.

No other city’s people are like that, so dedicated, when they have such a poor record.

Not that I’ve seen.

I’m happy to report that this past year, we finally made it to the play-offs! We lost our first game of the playoffs, but that’s A-OKAY! It will only be sweeter when we are world champions. Hopefully before I die. But no guarantees.

LET’S GO - BUFF-A-LO! [clap-clap-clapclapclap]

We’ve never won the championship. Ever. It’s alright. It’s the journey that matters in Buffalo. It brings us all together. Nobody cares if you voted Hillary or trump. Nobody cares if you’re rich or poor. The Bills bring us all together. Always. It’s definitely the journey. It will always suck. But it’s always great. Because we do it together. We’re never alone.

I WILL be wearing my Buffalo Bills underwear. And my Buffalo Bills Shorts. And my Buffalo Bills jerseys. And my Buffalo Bills hat. And be drinking from my Buffalo Bills coffee mug and/or my Buffalo Bills beer mug or using my Buffalo Bills beer coozie.

But, by the way… THIS IS THE YEAR! SUPERBOWL BILLS, BABY!